The other day I was coming home from work on the train and for a few minutes I fell into a deep sleep. Subconsciously, I woke myself up, startled, the train wasn't moving, I jumped up not knowing where I was. Suddenly I felt chest pains from shoulder to shoulder. On a pain scale of one to ten the pains registered a two to three. These where the strongest chest pains I've had in the past 16 years and they wouldn't go away. Over all the pains lasted almost 10 minutes. Eventually my skin turned pale. All I could do was sit and rest assuring myself this was just angina and it'll have to run it's course. Event though I carry a small spray bottle of nitro I haven't used it for many years. I couldn't be bothered to dig it out of my carry bag. This is a sure sign of things to come.
To have a heart attack is a crushing painful experience. I hope for it to come quickly and let me die without agony. I cheated death 17 years ago, perhaps it's time to give up life and open a place for someone else in this world.
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